A Girl's Life
by iseealivepeople
Summary: umm just read it haha.
1. Chapter 1

Cartman woke up with a start and he felt that something just didn't feel right, he looked down and saw two lumps protruding from his chest.

"The fuck I have fucking boobs?" He said patting his chest.

"Meem!" He cried out in that voice of his.

"Yes my little poopykins?" His mom said popping her head in the door way.

"I have boobs," He whined.

"Yes sweetie, that's just a part of puberty now get ready for school you don't have to be late," His mom said before she turned to leave. Cartman's confusion grew stronger when he saw that his closet was all filled with girl clothes, he finally decided on a red jumper with a brown skirt. When he got to the bus stop what he saw shocked him, standing there were three girls that resembled his friends.

"Yeah it was so weird I just woke up and I was like this," The girl Stan said, she had black hair to her chin and her body was as straight as a ruler.

"I wonder why this is happening?" The girl Kyle said, Cartman laughed at her looks, she had red hair down to her waist and small boobs and a big giant ass!

"I always dreamt of this day," Kenny said, he had on his usual parka so Cartman couldn't see what he looked like.

"Wow you changed too," Stan said, his voice as pretty deep for a girl's.

"What does it fucking look like you stupid hippie?" Cartman snapped.

"I wonder if this is happening to everyone," Kyle said.

"Your voice makes my ears bleed worse than Bebe's does," Cartman said, Kyle's voice was high pitched enough to break glass or so it seemed. When the bus got there the boys were disappointed to see that no one else had changed.

"It always has to be us," Stan mumbled taking his usual seat in the back.

"Have a seat ladies," Ms. Garrison said when the four boys entered the class room. Cartman huffed and plopped down in his seat making the legs of the chair creek in the process.

"Ever think about calling Jenny, Erica?" Bebe asked with a laugh.

"Shut up ho," Cartman snapped. From the front of the class room Ms. Garrison rolled her eyes, she didn't understand why girls were such bitches to each other.

"You're so fat Erica and no one likes fat girls," Bebe said.

"Right guys?" She added turning to the rest of the class.

"Well I uh I kind of like big women," Butters said knocking his knuckles together, Cartman rolled his eyes, he just knew that Butters would be the one to say that.

"No one likes any of you girls, so you should just leave and move to a different town or something," Heidi said stiffly.

"This one is pretty cute," Clyde said putting his arm around Kyle causing him/her to blush horribly.

"Oh please, she is totally flat," Bebe said rolling her eyes, jealous that her boyfriend was hitting on another woman.

"Well, at least my breasts don't take up half my body!" Kyle snapped. Ms. Garrison was too busy trying to settle the boys down that she didn't pay attention to the girls, that's how it always went in her class.

"I started my period yesterday," Kenny lied playing into the whole girl thing.

"Oh my gosh, you just started your's? I started mine like two years ago," Rebecca said.

"I am flowing heavily," Kenny said ignoring her statement.

"No one wants to know that Kendra!" Wendy snapped. Cartman rolled his eyes, these hoes talked more than the guys did and they said more hurtful stuff but they never got in trouble, stupid hoes. Finally the bell rang to go to lunch.

"It's about damn time," Cartman said.

"Like you need any food fat…" Kyle started to say before Clyde ran up and grabbed his arm.

"You're sitting with me today," He said dragging him off. In the cafeteria Kenny was going around asking the other girls for tampons, Cartman was fighting with Bebe, Kyle was sitting by Clyde and Stan was sitting in a corner by himself. He groaned when he saw Tweek walking over to his table.

"All the other tables are full," He strained out shaking like he always does.

"You can sit here I don't care," Stan said in a bored voice, he felt really lonely without his friends.

"Gah thanks, I hate cafeterias, too much pressure man," Tweek said twitching wildly. Stan rolled his eyes, he didn't need this right now.

"Does Tweek like Stanna?" Wendy asked looking over at where Stan was sitting.

"Why would anyone like ruler girl?" Bebe asked.

"Shut up Bebe, she just has a really athletic body and she's my best friend if I was a boy I'd totally date her," Wendy said.

"Ha-ha you're a fucking fag dude," Cartman said pointing at Wendy and laughing.

"Shut up before I kick your ass!" Wendy screamed at him. Cartman gulped and shut up immediately remembering what happened that one time in the 4th grade.

Stan was relieved when lunch was finally over, he frowned slightly when he saw that Clyde was sitting in his seat next to Kyle.

"That's my seat," He said to Clyde.

"Let me sit here please, I need to get more than just one kiss from her," Clyde said pointing to Kyle.

"He, I mean she kissed you?" Stan asked. A big grin spread across Clyde's face and he nodded.

"Best kiss I ever had," He said.

"That's uh, nice," Stan said. He groaned when he saw that the only available seat was next to Tweek.

"Get the fuck out of my seat!" He screamed at Clyde pushing him. Clyde fell to the floor by Stan's desk and started crying.

"Stanna that seat is already taken go sit by Tweek," Ms. Garrison snapped. Stan glared at Clyde and went to go sit by the most annoying kid in the world.

"I am sick and tired of being a girl!" Stan screamed out when they got to Stark's Pond where they had planned to meet up after school.

"Me too man I am sick of hanging out with all these stupid hoes," Cartman said.

"Being a girl is fun," Kenny replied building with all the tampons he had collected. Stan started to ask Kyle what he thought about being a girl but he was too busy giggling and blushing over Clyde's letter to pay attention.

"This is serious, I think this whole girl thing might really be sucking Kyle in," Stan said.

"We have to do something I am not going to have fucking tits forever," Cartman said. With that he and Stan left to go find a cure for this madness.


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay so we came to school and we were girls right?" Cartman said pacing back and forth in front of his chalk board that he had wrote useless numbers on.

"Uh yeah," Stan said.

"So maybe there's four girls that turned into boys and all we have to do is find them and demand our man hood back!" Cartman said still pacing.

"How are we going to do that?" Stan asked.

"I figured that we could go look for four new boys that we don't recognize," Cartman said.

"I hope your right about this," Stan said.

At school the next day Stan was shocked to see that the girl Kyle had fixed up her hair with pink bows and the girl Kenny came all glammed out in a mini skirt and a purple tube top, she had her blonde hair piled up high on her head. This is going to be harder than we thought, Stan thought to himself taking his seat by Tweek since is was the only one available.

"Agh, hi Stanna," Tweek said jumping about a foot in the air and landing with a twitch.

"Hi," Stan replied.

"I was wondering if you um would like to go out with me on Friday," Tweek said nervously, when he was done it looked like he was going to pass out.

"I cant, I'm a lesbian," Stan replied.

"Oh," Tweek said looking down disappointed.

Finally lunch time arrived and Stan and Cartman stood surveying the cafeteria trying to find four boys that looked out of place.

"Maybe they decided to stay home," Stan said when they couldn't find any.

"Or maybe they were so distressed about being boys that they drowned their selves in Stark's Pond," Cartman replied. Stan wanted to cry at their failed attempt to find the four girls changed into boys, he was tired of Tweek hitting on him, he was tired of his best friend being love sick over a guy that he didn't particularly care for and he was sick of not being able to go on dates with Wendy.

"Where is everyone else?" Cartman demanded when just Stan showed up at Stark's Pond after school.

"Kyle is at Clyde's and Kenny says he likes being a girl so he didn't come," Stan said.

"Well fine they can just be stupid girls all their lives we don't need them to be boys with us," Cartman said kicking the snow angrily.

"What were we doing before this all happened?" Stan asked ignoring Cartman's tantrum.

"Playing video games, I think," Cartman replied.

"I just remembered, our parents were there and they started talking about how much easier it would be to have girls," Stan said.

"Those assholes it's our parents fault! I bet they did something to us," Cartman said angrily.

"Yeah, we should talk to Dr. Mephisto and see if he can turn us back," Stan said.

When Stan and Cartman got to Dr. Mephisto's lab they rolled their eyes at his seven assed turtle, animals with many asses seemed to be his specialty.

"Can I help you girls?" He asked.

"We're fucking boys and we got turned into girls and we want to change back!" Cartman said.

"I don't know what to do I only specialize in making hybrids and doing parental tests," Dr. Mephisto said.

"So you cant help us?" Stan asked.

"Afraid not," Dr. Mephisto replied.

"So you cant fucking help us!" Cartman said taking a beaker off the table and smashing it.

"Calm down," Dr. Mephisto said.

"I am not going to calm down I don't want to be a fucking girl!" Cartman said breaking another beaker. Pretty soon Dr. Mephisto got fed up with it and he ordered them both out of his lab.

"Who do we usually go to when we're in trouble?" Stan asked.

"Chef," They both replied in unison and with that they ran off to go find Chef.


	3. Chapter 3

It was the third day of Kyle being a girl and he was starting to enjoy it, he had even joined the cheerleading team to try to get more into the other girl's lives. He waited at the bus stop with Kenny, the other one of the four who enjoyed being a girl, he claims that it is the life he always wanted. Moments later Stan and Cartman came up grumbling about how their plan to talk to Chef the night before didn't work, Chef sung songs as usual about making love to your woman by the fire and while the boys were entertained it didn't change the fact that they were still girls. When the bus got there Kyle quickly got on and sat down beside Clyde, he smiled and put his arm around him/her.

"Still coming to my house this weekend?" He asked. Kyle nodded and blushed horribly. In the back of the bus Stan groaned at his lovesick friend.

"I always knew he was a fag," Cartman said.

"Shut up Cartman, it's just the girl brain getting to him," Stan replied.

"No it's not the girl brain you stupid hippie if it was the girl brain then we would be fawning over guys and stuff, face it, the stupid Jew is a fag," Cartman retorted. Stan frowned slightly because he knew that Cartman was right.

_______

"Clyde! Kylita! Stop passing notes and pay attention!" Ms. Garrison snapped after Kyle and Clyde had passed about a dozen notes back and forth to each other. As class progressed on Clyde started writing another note but as he was passing it to Kyle Ms. Garrison snapped it up.

"I told you to stop passing notes Clyde," She said.

"But I want to talk to my girlfriend," Clyde said and he started crying. Bebe shot up abruptly.

"Girlfriend? Did he just say girlfriend?" She asked with a shocked look on her face.

"Yeah, I saw them making out behind the building after school yesterday and he invited her over this weekend on the bus," Heidi said. A look of pure rage came over Bebe's face.

"At lunch, Kylita dies," She said darkly more to herself than to anyone else.

_______

"So you think you can just waltz right in and take what is mine?" Bebe asked angrily pushing Kyle into a table.

"What are talking about?" Kyle asked shoving Bebe back. Cartman saw this and he ran off to go yell out about the "bitch fight" that was going down.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about you flat chested whore!" Bebe cried out grabbing Kyle's hair.

"Don't touch y hair!" Kyle screamed out in his girl voice pushing Bebe off of him.

"Clyde is mine you stupid slut so stay the fuck away from him," Bebe said angrily.

"He wouldn't be looking for someone else if you weren't such a controlling bitch towards him!" Kyle cried out. Pretty soon they were pulling each other's hair, biting and clawing each other.

"OW you hit my tit!" Bebe cried out suddenly.

"Stop fighting!" Clyde said running in to break the two up.

"Why the hell are you cheating on me with this slut?" Bebe demanded looking hard at Clyde.

"Because she's right, you are a controlling bitch all you ever do is make me buy you shoes and I am sick of it, it is over between us, Kylita is so much smarter and prettier and nicer than you," Clyde said. Bebe looked at Clyde in shock before running off with tears streaming down her face.


	4. Chapter 4

Kenny stepped into his classroom two days after the fight between his friend and Bebe, it was now Friday and the fifth day that they had been girls, he doubted that they would ever change back but he didn't mind, he kind of liked it.

"Hey Kendra can I talk to you?" Bebe asked.

"Sure," Kenny said walking over to Bebe.

"Okay so you know Kylita is going to go over to Clyde's house this Saturday right?" Bebe asked.

"Uh, yeah," Kenny replied nodding.

"Well, I need you to take this camera and get some dirt on them," Bebe said shoving a camera in his hands.

"Why me?" He asked.

"Because you're my best friend, please Kendra please do this for me," Bebe pleaded.

"Ugh fine," Kenny said walking off, he didn't walk far though because he happened to bump into Craig. Craig turned to Kenny and smiled.

"Hey Kendra," He nervously said.

"Hi," Kenny said back laughing inside at the way Craig was blushing.

"Here try this," He said pushing something that looked like a rectangular piece of crap in Kenny's hands. He studied it for a few minutes before speaking.

"What the hell is this?" He asked.

"An Oreo granola bar, it's really good, try it," Craig said. Kenny put the piece of food in his mouth; it tasted like burnt bark. Craig got out another one for himself and started to eat it. Kenny watched him smiling to himself and then moving his hand to touch Craig's.

"Your super hot Craig, and sexy," Kenny said giggling at Craig's blush becoming darker on his cheeks.

"Thanks," He said.

"Anytime," Kenny replied.

"Um Kendra I was wondering since Clyde cant come over this Saturday if you would like to," Clyde said nervously. Kenny was about to say yes but then he remembered what he had promised Bebe.

"I can't," He said. Craig frowned and looked down,

"O-oh…okay if you don't want to…." He said sighing and then turning away to walk off. Kenny watched him walk off and then he ran up to Bebe.

"Can I spy on Kylita some other time?" He asked.

"No, this might be the only chance! I know Clyde will probably dump her soon, he hops girls like hobos hop trains," Bebe said stamping her foot down.

"But he really seems to like her," Kenny said.

"Please just do it pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Bebe begged.

"Fine," Kenny grumbled rolling his eyes. Kenny went and sat down in his seat which happened to be next to Craig's, he looked at him and smiled but the raven haired boy just looked down at his desk trying to pretend that he couldn't see him.

"What a dick," Kenny muttered, his statement was replied by Craig flipping him off.

"Fuck you too!" Kenny screamed throwing his History book at Craig's face. Craig turned to Kenny and sighed giving him his book back shaking nervously. Kenny took the book back touching Craig's hand causing him to blush once again.

_____

"It's about time lunch got here," Cartman grumbled.

"Like you really need all that food fat ass," Kyle said.

"Shut up and go hang out with your boyfriend you stupid fag!" Cartman snapped. Kenny sighed and rolled his eyes as he watched his two friends fight like always.

"Hey come sit with me," Craig said grabbing his arm. As Kenny walked to go sit with Craig he could see Bebe glaring from across the cafeteria. Stan watched Craig pull Kenny away and he sighed looking to Kyle as he got up and went to sit with Clyde. Cartman glared at them both and then turned to Stan frowning.

"Man, being girls sucks! Butters has asked me out about five times today!" He shouted angrily.

"Yeah, after I rejected Tweek he started stalking me, and last night he even had my sister tied up and he threatened to kill her if I didn't date him, I told him to go ahead," Stan said.

"Did he do it?" Cartman asked.

"No, he got all scared when he realised that he was out of coffee so he had to run and go get more," Stan replied. Cartman sniggered and then looked as he saw Tweek and Butters walk over and sit next to them. Cartman frowned and then looked at Stan with a worried look on his face.

_____

After school Stan and Cartman walked out and saw Craig and Kenny kissing by the dumpsters in front of the school.

"So you can come over Sunday then?" Craig asked.

"Yes," Kenny replied nodding.

"Okay see you then Kendra," Craig said still smiling stupidly as Kenny was far out of his line of vision.

"We need to find a way out of this fast!" Stan and Cartman said together running off.


	5. Chapter 5

**Kenny walked along the road smiling to himself looking along the road and thinking about going to Craig's house. **

"**Hello?" Craig said answering the door when Kenny rang the door bell.**

"**Come on you're going to help me spy on Clyde and Kylita," Kenny said grabbing him arm. **

"**I am not helping you spy on Clyde," Craig said pulling his arm back.**

"**Please it will be a great adventure!" Kenny said.**

"**I hate adventures," Craig muttered. Kenny planted a small kiss on Craig's lips stroking Craig's thigh slowly.**

"**Please, for me?" Kenny pleaded. Craig gulped and then put his hands on Kenny's waist firmly.**

"**Fine," He muttered taking his hands off Kenny's waist to follow him to Clyde's house.**

**_____**

**Kenny sat with Craig in some bushes underneath Clyde's bedroom window with Bebe's camera in his hands ready to capture anything that went down. **

"**If Clyde finds out that I was the one who helped you do this and it ruins our friendship I will kill you," Craig said, Kenny could hear a hint of joking in his voice. He then turned his attention to Clyde's window as he watched him make out with his friend, moments later he opened his mouth in shock and brought the camera up to the window to take a picture of his friend giving Clyde something very special to a man. Kenny took some pictures and giggled to himself, **

"**If he found out that was Kyle he would be so pissed off," Kenny began to laugh forgetting that Craig could hear what he said.**

"**Excuse me? Who is Kyle?" Craig asked. **

"**I think it's time you knew the truth," Kenny said and he told Craig the whole story from start to finish. As soon as he was done he could feel himself changing and he was back into a boy again.**

"**Dammit," He muttered. **

"**Um sorry but I'm not gay," Craig said running off. Kenny sighed and ran after Craig grabbing his hand and then pulling him into a kiss. Craig responded by kissing back, as they separated Kenny put his head on Craig's chest. **

"**Please stay with me Craig," He begged.**

"**I cant," Craig said walking off.**

**____**

**At school that Monday Craig told Clyde about how Kylita was really a boy. **

"**I'll have to go talk to her," Clyde said. As if on cue Kyle came walking up to him. **

"**We need to talk," Clyde said pulling him on to a bench behind the school.**

"**What's wrong?" Kyle asked worriedly and Clyde told him about what Craig had told him. **

"**It's true," Kyle muttered with his eyes filling up with tears and then he too turned back into a boy. **

"**It's okay," Clyde said surprising Kyle when he pulled him into a tight hug. **

"**I-it is?" He choked out. **

"**Yes, it's you I love not your gender," Clyde replied kissing him. **

**________**

**Cartman saw what happened and ran to Stan telling him what they had to do.**

"**We have to become fags," He said.**

"**But Wendy…." Stan protested. **

"**Screw Wendy," Cartman said and he told Stan what had happened. **

"**So? Kyle kissed Clyde before and he didn't turn back," Stan said. **

"**Maybe you have to admit you're really a boy and then kiss them," Cartman said grabbing Stan. **

"**I am really a boy!" He exclaimed kissing him, nothing happened. **

"**Told you fat ass," Stan said.**

"**Screw you hippie," Cartman retorted. **

"**I couldn't help but to notice what was going on," Wendy said poking her head in the door way. **

"**I'm really a boy!" Stan cried throwing his arms around Wendy and kissing her, he was amazed when he saw that he had turned back into a boy.**

"**Kick ass," He said grabbing Wendy's hand and they walked out the door together. Cartman frowned and then turned to Butters.**

"**I'm a boy," He said kissing Butters on the cheek.**

"**Yes I'm a boy woo hoo!" He shouted jumping up and down. **

"**Uh Erica are you okay?" Butters asked knocking his knuckles together. Cartman looked down and saw that he still had boobs. **

"**Fuck…." He muttered. **

**_____**

"**I finally found out how we changed back!" Stan exclaimed sometime later running up carrying a book with Kyle and Kenny on his heels.**

"**Why the fuck did you guys change back and I didn't?" Cartman demanded. **

"**It says here that when a gender change happens that to reverse it you have to tell the person that you truly love the truth and then you will turn back," Stan said. Cartman grumbled and sighed because he knew that he would never truly love anyone so he was destined to be a girl forever. **


End file.
